Why Black Men Won't Publicly Claim Black Women

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Historical Look At Why Black Men Refuse To Claim Black Women Publicly


NBA player Nick Young was recently caught on video admitting to cheating on his fiancée, rapper Iggy Azalea.  One of the women he allegedly cheated with is a black woman named Britt.  The mother of Young’s son from a relationship prior to Iggy is also a black woman.  This got me thinking – What is it with black men who like black women behind closed doors but propose to and marry women of another race? Why do some black men not want to claim black women publicly?  Though I really don’t know whether Nick Young is one of these fellows, this situation is enough of an observation in our community that it warrants a discussion.
Photo of Nick Young and his fiancée, Iggy Azalea:
Nick Young and Iggy Azalea. Source: https://www.instagram.com/thenewclassic/
Nick Young and Iggy Azalea. Source: https://www.instagram.com/thenewclassic/
Photos of Nick Young’s ex and baby’s mother, Keonna Green:
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young's son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young’s son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young's son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Keonna Green (the mother of Nick Young’s son). Source: https://www.instagram.com/keonnanecole/
Photo of Britt, who says she has been seeing Nick for the past two years:
Britt. Source: https://www.instagram.com/itsbrittbiotch/
Britt (says she has been seeing Nick Young for the past two years).  Source: https://www.instagram.com/itsbrittbiotch/
Artist Nate Hill, who built a satirical project “Trophy Scarves” based on white women, shed some light back in 2013:
There are people who see certain races as status symbols. – Daily News
Artist Nate Hill and his satirical "Trophy Scarves." Source: Daily News
Artist Nate Hill and his satirical “Trophy Scarves.” Source: Daily News
For some black men, marrying a white woman is just that — a status symbol.  For them, it may signify taking something from the white man, or even, rising to the level of the white man.  They may still be sexually attracted to the black woman, and keep her on the side, but it is the white woman that they marry.  Perhaps, this phenomenon is rooted in slavery, which has done great damage to the black male-female relationship.  
The most enduring and damning legacy of slavery is that it changed the natural order of Black male and female relationships from the way they were originally formed in Africa.  Before African men and women were brought to America as slaves, … [the African man] courted his wife-to-be, families lived together in villages, and women were revered and honored as precious jewels, helpmates, and partners… All that changed during the course of slavery.  The black man was rendered powerless to protect, provide for, and uplift his female counterpart … He was lost, stripped of his masculinity, which was held in high esteem and made him honorable in African culture.  – Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson, p.45
At the same time, black women went through their own form of devaluation:
Our value as women was crushed from the moment we became sexual objects on those slave ships and later in the dark, dank corners of southern plantations … Slavery dehumanized black women by robbing them of the ability to fulfill their most basic emotional needs. – “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson, p.40
So how can the black woman possibly be a “trophy” after all of this?  Or how can the black man best get back at the white man for “stripping him of his masculinity”?
Alternatively, author Janks Morton believes that some black men turn to white women as “an escape from the perceived control that black women have over their lives.”
The primary authority figure in our community is black women, and this dates back to slavery.  And to be frank, it is a double-edged sword … more black women have been primarily responsible for the socialization and rearing of our young black children, particularly our black male children [p. 47] … Black men on one level love their mothers, don’t get me wrong, but they are also very conflicted about the emasculation of black men around them growing up, and the strength that black women must exert in the family to keep it together [p. 99]. – “Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama”, Sophia A. Nelson
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